The Red Face of Fear
by shannyfish
Summary: Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.
1. I won't hold you to it

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 1 – "I won't hold you to it"**

**Author's Note: **Takes place three weeks after the ending events in "Red Window".

...

"_Everybody's talkin' at me. I don't hear a word they're saying. Only the echoes of my mind." - Everybody's Talkin', Fred Neil_

**CBI Headquarters**

Three weeks.

She'd been back three weeks. Lisbon was sure that it should feel better, but it really didn't. Though Madeline Hightower was the new agent in charge, Virgil Minelli had been brought back in to consult. At least that's what they were calling it. Lisbon was pretty sure that it was more of a dual evaluation. She'd passed the medical and psych exams. She was supposed to be back in the field already, but Hightower had kept her in the office. She'd been coordinating all efforts from her desk. It really wasn't helping her confidence level. At the very least, Minelli kept her company in Sacramento.

"I'm telling you, Lisbon, Hightower is iffy about sending you into the field because she doesn't know you well enough," Jane told her.

Ever since she'd been rescued from Idaho, Jane had stayed close and had been giving her her space. She knew that even though she told him otherwise, he was still blaming himself. And though they'd both admitted their feelings for each other, things were still much the same. She swore the only differences were that he now tended to nap on the couch in her office rather than on his couch. He'd also come over for dinner and sleep over occasionally.

Their relationship wasn't romantic or sexual. Lisbon had a feeling that things would remain much the same until Red John was found and brought to justice (and at this point, she didn't care whose justice was brought about). Also, she knew that Jane still wore his wedding ring. He had wounds that were still ultimately healing.

"It seems silly to bring him back to consult on me," Lisbon told him. She was finishing up paperwork on the case that her team had just solved. It seemed like there was so much more paperwork when she was stuck in her office. She figured that it was probably because of her being so coped up.

"Consultant is just a cover. It's like visiting."

Lisbon smiled. "So, you're just visiting then?"

"Well, I think I just need a different job title."

She laughed and shook her head. "Perhaps clown?"

"I don't do the make-up," he joked. "Clogs the pores."

"I think just 'Patrick Jane' is probably a good enough title all on its own," she said as she turned her attention back to her paperwork.

"Minelli should be showing up any minute now," Jane informed her. "He seems grouchy lately…"

"I would be too if someone yanked me out of retirement only to be babysitting an agent because I know them better than the replacement."

"Well, we know that you've been cleared everywhere else," Jane said. "Hightower's just feeling you out."

"Not really comforting."

There was a knock and by the time she looked up, Minelli already had a foot in her office. He looked less grouchy today but she thought that it could just be that he'd already had coffee.

"Right on time," Jane said from where he lay on the couch. "Good morning, Virgil!"

"Do you ever leave her office?" Minelli asked Jane.

Lisbon smiled and tried not to laugh at their exchange. She shook her head and then closed the folder with the finished paperwork. "I think he's decided that mine is comfier than his."

Jane nodded. "Plus, Rigsby and Cho can be loud… They have no concern for those who may be napping."

"I think you nap more than you work," Minelli told him.

Jane shrugged. "That might be fair…"

Minelli turned to her and she looked at him, trying to figure him out. She desperately wanted to ask him what was going on. Why was he there? Why wasn't she allowed to go out into the field? But she remained silent and just waited as he took the chair across from her.

"You're probably sick of having me here," Minelli told her.

"No," she lied. Well, it was a half lie. She didn't mind the company when everyone else was gone. "I just…I feel awful that they pulled you from retirement to…consult."

"Well," Jane said. "He retired because he felt responsible for your death…and then he was brought back in order to be the responsible one to send you back into the field. Isn't that right, Virgil?"

"Teresa…I care about those who serve under me. We're like a family, down to even the part where you all drive me insane sometimes. Though, I'll admit that Jane's usually the one who's driving me insane. But you," he said and then paused. Minelli stared at her for a moment. "You remind me of a daughter. And I couldn't continue to come to work everyday with the continuing guilt that you'd been slaughtered on my watch." He shook his head. "I already went through that once. I couldn't go through that again and then have to stare down at your lifeless body in the morgue on a slab."

She noticed that Jane moved so that he was sitting up now behind Minelli. Lisbon appreciated her former boss being so frank with her and she was touched at how he felt about her. Though she wished that he hadn't retired because of her.

"As for why I'm here now, I'm sure you both can see past the joke of them saying that I'm a consultant. I'm here to assess whether or not you're truly ready to go back into the field," Minelli told her. "Now, I guess it's hard for me… I know you're ready, but I guess I'm afraid to say yes and then them find a smiley face drawn in blood on some wall somewhere again in your blood."

Lisbon nodded. She looked down and she understood. She understood because even though she was back at work and she felt like she could go back into the field…she'd been having nightmares… The two months or so she spent in Simon's fictitious life were haunting her. Her counselor had talked to her about it, but nothing was helping. Well, not nothing…when Jane would spend the night they wouldn't be as intense or sometimes she'd only have it right before she woke up instead of all night. She hadn't told him that though. If she told Jane, then he'd never leave her side for one second and she wouldn't have him feel obligated.

"Lisbon?"

"Hmmm?" she asked as she zoned back in.

"You okay?"

She could see concern in both Minelli and Jane's eyes. She'd obviously zoned out for more than a second. Lisbon nodded. "Sorry, I think I just need some coffee… Too much paperwork stuff floating around my head."

"Look, I'm going to go talk to Hightower about letting you back in the field. I'll tell her that I'll go along for your next case and if things go well then I can go back to my retirement," Minelli said as he got to his feet.

"Thank you, Boss," she said as she stood up too.

"I'm not your boss anymore, Lisbon."

She just nodded and watched as he left. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that she was being watched. Patrick Jane was still watching her with concern and worry. She frowned as she turned to him fully. "Please don't look at me like that…"

"You want some coffee?" he asked. Jane got to his feet and walked to her desk before taking the seat that Minelli had been sitting in previously.

Lisbon shook her head and sat back down. "No."

"What's wrong?"

"Skeletons in the closet I guess…"

"Red John?"

"Red John," she said and then added. "Simon."

"You've stopped telling your shrink about it, haven't you?" he asked.

She looked at him sideways for a moment before finally nodding. "You know, Mrs. Millary called me yesterday to tell me how well Kaydance is doing and how big Jane is getting. She even said that she swore that her daughter was happier than before she was taken and asks about me a lot. The senator wants the CBI to give me some kind of commendation—"

"You deserve it."

Shaking her head, she pushed the words out. "I don't. I survived. That's all. I made it through. I did everything I did to keep a little girl safe. Anyone would have done it in my position. But you would think that the little girl would be the one with the nightmares and I'm the one with them."

"Lisbon, what you went through—"

"It's not even what I went through… Once in a while it'll be about Simon, but most of the time… Most of the time it's Red John. I can't see him, but I hear a voice…but not really…it's hard to explain."

"You haven't ever told me what happens…"

She looked at him and knew that if she told him that he'd never forgive himself. "There's a reason I don't, Patrick," she said quietly and then looked away.

"Hey," he started to protest softly.

There was a knock at her door and she looked up to see Van Pelt standing there. She motioned for her to enter and then waited. "What is it?"

"Rigsby wants to know if you want anything special for the closed case pizzas at lunch?" Van Pelt asked.

"The usual is fine," she said, trying to put on a smile.

"Oh Grace?" Jane spoke up. "Could you get Lisbon a coffee and a snack please?"

"No," Lisbon said quickly. She waved her hand. "I'm fine…really…"

"It's not a problem," Van Pelt said before disappearing.

"See, it's not a problem," Jane said as he turned back to Lisbon. "Now where were we?"

Lisbon shook her head. Though things were the same, Jane had toned things down just a tad. It was just her that probably even noticed. Of course, it was harder for her to control Jane in the field when she was stuck in her office so he tended to get away with a lot more. She swore that Jane and Cho were in league together and that he just had Rigsby and Van Pelt so well trained.

"I don't want to talk about it," Lisbon said quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because you'll hold onto it and blame yourself…just like you're still blaming yourself about everything else about Red John."

"That's not true."

"It is."

"It is not."

"You blame yourself for Red John taking me both times and you blame yourself for the deaths of your wife and child," she pointed out. "I'm not going to have you put the weight of my nightmares on top of that. It's too much." She looked down and willed herself to keep the tears back. Just talking about them in a mention was enough to conjure up images, emotions, and pain. She saw the Red John smiley face drawn in her own blood, she felt her blood flowing from the open wound in her side, and she remembered the feeling that she was going to die. No, she wouldn't burden him with that.

"Lisbon-"

"No."

"Lisbon-"

"I said no, Jane."

"Teresa," he said, this time his voice was softer.

She looked up at him, staring at him. "Just…"

"Boss," Van Pelt said after a quick knock. "Sorry…didn't mean to interrupt."

"No, no…you're fine."

Van Pelt entered and set the coffee down on her desk and then set down some kind of Danish on a napkin next to it. "Hope that's okay."

"That's…that's perfect, Grace," Lisbon said as she looked up at the woman. "Thank you."

"Sure," she said before disappearing.

"Drink it, you'll feel better…" Jane said quietly.

Lisbon looked down at the mug of coffee as she pulled it closer to her. "Can you just go for a while?" she whispered. She didn't have the courage to look up at him. She was afraid of the broken look in his eyes. She just needed space. She needed time alone. She really just wanted to go home and sleep for a while, but the day was still early…

"If that's what you want," he responded.

"I just…I'm…" she found herself stumbling over her words. Lisbon rubbed her face with the palms of her hands for a moment before dropping them and looking at him. He was worried. "I'm sorry…I'm not mad at you…I just…I need some space."

"I understand."

And he sounded sincere. And she hoped he was. "You're probably right, I probably just need this," she said before lifting the mug to her lips and sipping the hot liquid.

Jane nodded. "I'll be out there on my couch if you need or want me…"

"'kay."

He stood and headed for her door before stopping and turning. "You're going to be fine in the field," he told her. "I'll even promise to behave," he added with a smile.

Lisbon just smiled at his words. "I won't hold you to that," she muttered.

…

TBC…


	2. All I Know

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 2 – "All I Know"**

**Author's Note: **

...

"_But I know,_

_All I know, _

_Is that the end's beginning."_

_- "Shattered" by Trading Yesterday_

**CBI Headquarters**

Jane had kept up his position on his couch for most of the day. Lisbon had pretty much only emerged from her office for lunch and then to use the bathroom. Jane had hoped that she'd come and ask him to come back to her office and the wondrous couch that was currently calling his name, but no such luck. He supposed that she really did need the space. After all, a lot had gone on in the last few months and there was a lot that was going to happen that was going to make Lisbon nervous.

Minelli entered the bullpen and looked around as if he were surprised. Jane watched as he made his way to Lisbon's office and simply stuck his head in and told her that he needed her out there. Jane didn't think that Lisbon appreciated that so much. She liked knocking when her door was closed as it was and had been all day. He had expected that they'd all leave soon, but it seemed that Minelli had some kind of big news. It was exciting and alarming. If they had a case then Lisbon would be back in the field and Minelli would be babysitting. He still was positive that Lisbon would do fine, but he had a feeling that Minelli would making things more difficult than they needed to be.

"Hightower wanted me to tell you all that you have a case and Agent Lisbon will be in charge as she has been before," Minelli announced.

There was cheering and clapping. Jane cheered mostly; clapping involved him to move more. Currently he was only willing to move his mouth until it was absolutely necessary for him to move from the sanctuary of his couch.

"She didn't give me a lot of details, all I know is that it involves the murder of the governor's family babysitter," Minelli said. "So, at least there's not far to travel."

"That's half the fun," Jane spoke up.

"This involves the Governor of the state of California, Jane. I hope that you'll consider using some tact while on this case."

"I can be tactful," he said.

He caught Lisbon's look and he knew, he knew that he had to solve this case. It wasn't just solving this case, but they had to do it fast and with as little shenanigans as possible. He wasn't sure if he could really tone it down that much, but he'd try. He'd try for Lisbon.

"Since it's local, everyone's going," Lisbon announced. "Two vehicles. You know the drill." She paused and then spoke up again. "Oh…and Minelli's coming with us," she added before moving to her office.

Jane didn't miss all the confused looks from the team as he sat up on his couch. He smiled brightly. He looked towards Lisbon's office and watched her through the glass windows as she gathered up her things. He was pretty sure that this was going to be more fun to see how the team, okay mainly Van Pelt and Rigsby acted with Minelli there. Cho was Cho and there was pretty much no shaking him from acting Cho-like.

…

**Governor's Mansion**

Lisbon had divided the team up before they'd even arrived officially at the governor's mansion. He had a feeling that it was her way of trying to ensure that things would be taken care of as soon as possible. Jane was to stick with her, which was standard, it was so he could tell her things and also so that she could keep an eye on him in hopes that she'd keep him out of trouble. Of course, Jane was starting to feel that trouble just found him (okay, so maybe he helped it a little).

"No funny business, Jane," Minelli warned.

He thought that it was interesting that Minelli was giving him all the warnings. Besides issuing out duties, Lisbon had been relatively silent. He had to think of a way to get rid of Minelli or make it so that at least he could talk to her alone. He wasn't quite sure how he was going to do that though.

"You know, I could really use a sandwich," Jane mused aloud.

"You should have eaten before we left."

"I could also go for a nice cup of tea," Jane continued and noticed that Minelli seemed more irritated with every new word that emanated from his mouth. Jane rubbed his stomach. "I just…I can't focus on an empty stomach… I think it's low blood sugar, I may pass out," Jane said, trying to sound as serious as possible. He noticed that Lisbon had started to smirk a bit at his act.

"I'm not running to get you anything," Minelli said. "I'm Lisbon's babysitter, not yours."

"Oh Lisbon," Jane asked, trying to sound as weak and needy as possible. He was pretty sure he even sounded whiney. "Can you ask Minelli to get me a snack?"

"No," she said with amusement. "He's not here to run errands for us, Jane."

"Then what use is he?" Jane asked, still trying to sound serious. He noticed that Lisbon almost laughed at his comment. "I guess I'll just have to raid the governor's refrigerator."

"You won't do any such thing," Minelli said.

"Oh he will," Lisbon spoke up. "That's why I'm going to walk him back to the vehicles and get him a snack. We try to carry some just in case," she said. "And that way he won't get into any trouble with me keeping an eye on him."

"Oh Lisbon, that's so kind," Jane said.

"Go on ahead and we'll be five minutes behind you, Boss," Lisbon told Minelli.

"I'm not your boss anymore, Lisbon," Minelli told her.

"Do you really expect me to call you Virgil?" she asked. "Not very professional in the field."

"Fine," Minelli huffed. "Five minutes."

Jane started to do a little jig. "Alright…snacks!" Jane said with excitement. Minelli rolled his eyes at him and then left and once he was out of range, Lisbon let out a huge laugh. It was a relief to see. She seemed so filled with happiness and life at that moment.

"I can't believe you said that…" Lisbon told him as she started off towards where they'd parked.

Jane grabbed her arm. "I really don't need food," he told her.

"We have to at least get you a bar of some sort so that Minelli doesn't think that we were purposely trying to get rid of him," Lisbon said.

She was right, of course. So, they walked the short distance to the vehicles and Lisbon slipped a granola bar into his vest pocket. "Now, what was this all about?" she asked. "Since for once you weren't whining about being hungry for real."

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright," Jane said. He'd been watching her closely and he was concerned. Concerned for her continuing for the team and just her own well-being. She seemed to be teetering on the edge.

"I'm fine, I'm just a little stressed," Lisbon told him.

He reached out and moved a strand of her dark hair back and tucked it behind her ear. He stared into her green eyes. "Teresa, everything's going to be fine… We're all going to work together and get through this case and ship Minelli back and then things will be back to the way they were."

"I know," she said.

"Do you?"

She looked down and then brought her gaze back up to meet his again. She nodded. "I do."

"I just want to make sure," Jane told her.

Lisbon breathed in for a moment and then nodded. After a quiet moment, she motioned for him to hurry. "Come on, Minelli's going to be waiting for us. I want to get this over with."

"So pushy," he teased with a smile. He felt a bit at ease when he saw her return his smile. They headed back towards where Minelli was surely waiting for them. He just hoped that she relaxed and tried to be confidant.

…

**En Route to CBI Headquarters**

He felt bad. Lisbon was really going to get it and he hadn't meant to cause any harm. It had truly snowballed out of his control. Not only had Lisbon been unable to stop it, but Minelli had looked like he was going to burst an aneurysm or something. He was sure that Hightower would be waiting when they got there.

"He's going to be the end to your career, Lisbon," Minelli said.

"Yes, Sir, I know," she mumbled back as she drove the SUV.

Cho, Van Pelt, and Rigsby had driven back in the other vehicle. Smart agents. He was stuck there with Minelli talking about him like he wasn't. "I am present in this vehicle and I can hear you," Jane spoke up.

"And I would have thought that _you_ would have learned your lesson by now," Minelli said turning his anger towards Jane.

"I didn't actually mean for him to flip out," Jane admitted. "It's a standard question that we ask at pretty much all crime scenes. We ask everyone where they were when people are murdered. It's not my fault that he jumped to conclusions."

"Jane's right," Lisbon spoke up.

"Don't you dare defend this clown!" Minelli snapped. "It's a Red John case! You both knew that the moment you stepped into that room! Why would you be insane enough to ask the governor where he was during the time the murder was committed?"

Jane shrugged. "Standard question? Curiosity? We don't know who Red John is…"

"You're telling me that the governor of California could be Red John?"

"You never know," Jane said. "I was trying to cover all the bases is all."

"Now I remembered one of the reasons why I retired," Minelli said as he turned his attention back ahead.

Jane knew that they were going to hear all about it when they got back. There was no question. And once again, Hightower would threaten Lisbon's career. It wouldn't matter if he admitted that it was his fault or if there was a misunderstanding…she expected Lisbon to keep him on a tight leash.

…

TBC…


	3. What If

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 3 – "What If"**

**Author's Note: **Sorry Darlings, I've just gotten hired for a job and I'm trying to wrap my brain around everything… I have mapped out the next like seven chapters so it shouldn't be AS long between updates! I hope anyways! Not a long chapter, but I wrote what I needed to!

...

"_But what if I fail of my purpose here? _

_It is but to keep the nerves at strain, _

_to dry one's eyes and laugh at a fall, _

_and baffled, get up and begin again."_

_- Robert Browning_

**Lisbon Residence**

She felt silly. She sighed and let her hand cradle her forehead as she stared down at the case file. It was Red John, they knew that much. This was technically the second official that Red John had touched in some way. First he'd taken Senator Millary's daughter and now he'd killed the governor's babysitter. Lisbon sighed again. Maybe he was just trying to get more coverage? Could he be that desperate for attention? She wouldn't have thought Red John to be that desperate…

It was late, she knew that she should be sleeping, but she just couldn't. The case details kept turning over in her head. There was so much to prove…and so many people to prove herself to. She felt like such a child in some ways. Minelli was there to supervise like she was some kind of rookie. It just made her feel uneasy and unsure of everything she did. She didn't like that.

Lisbon didn't know if she could truthfully do this. Maybe Hightower was right to question her ability to go back into the field with her team. This case she knew would prove it. Red John had been prominent in their case files, even though it seemed like they hadn't come across many Red John cases in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps it was because his actions had struck so close to home. Lisbon wasn't sure.

She flipped through photos of the crime scene and stopped at the red smiley face drawn in the victim's blood on the wall. She gasped and didn't realize it for almost two breaths later. A smiley face, something that children drew…it was sad that it brought so much fear, grief, and pain to so many. Maybe that was why the face looked like it was crying? She shook her head and tried to concentrate on the details within the file rather than the pictures that were contained within the file itself. She forced herself to flip to the next picture.

Maybe Red John was something you could so simply toss out of your head. Maybe that was why Jane had seemed so messed up for so long? Red John did something to you…

Jane.

She sighed and covered her face with her hands.

Jane.

Lisbon had yet to really talk to him about things. She'd really needed her space lately and he'd been kind enough to allow it. But at the same time, she missed having him with her. She missed the way that he made her feel. She missed the smile he always managed to put on her face with such ease. She even missed his antics.

Jane.

She loved him.

She loved him dearly.

But love would have to wait. For both of them. She knew that and she had a feeling that he knew that as well. Love was a luxury and right now it was one that they couldn't afford right now. Not with her job on the line and not with Red John out there still. She didn't think that either of them could be in a successful relationship, especially between each other, until Red John was brought to justice. Some kind of justice. Any kind of justice.

Jane wasn't the only thing she missed though. Lisbon had found herself dreaming happy thoughts of being back in Idaho, just her and Kaydance. She missed being called 'Mommy' and she missed the little girl. She'd already been told not to be shy and to drop by and visit when she liked but she found that it was harder done than said. It brought about a stabbing pain. It pierced her heart and made her cry.

Maybe this was her hormones kicking in. Her biological clock ticking. Tick! Tick! Tick! It was practically pounding in her ears. But right now wasn't the time. It really wasn't. There were so many reasons, but the main one she came back to was Red John. He was out there and he'd taken her twice now. She didn't want to put her unborn or even a born child in harm's way with Red John still on the loose.

Of course, there was the tiny need of male biological DNA needed in order to create such a child, but Lisbon had figured that she could figure that out easily enough. She had options. Options that she just couldn't think about right now.

She rubbed her face as her brain once again started to spin around the facts of the case in her head. She let her hands drop and she tried not to dwell on the thoughts of not being ready…of failing. Lisbon felt like perhaps the worst part of it would be the failing part. She'd be failing herself…and others too. But the failing probably hurt the most. It made her feel like nothing was ever going to be right again.

"You can do this," she whispered to herself.

She had to do this.

Lisbon knew she was strong…or at least she had been strong enough at one time.

"You can do this," she repeated.

….

TBC…


	4. Plotting

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 4 – "Plotting"**

**Author's Note: **

...

"

**CBI Headquarters**

He was making himself comfortable on his couch in the bullpen area and was at the same time working on being invisible. He figured that maybe if he just didn't respond to Van Pelt, Rigsby, or Cho that they'd just leave him be. No luck apparently, though. Cho just ignored his ignoring of him and kept on with his persistence.

"What? What do you want?" Jane finally snapped.

"Are you done moping around?" Cho asked, his voice as level as always as he stared down at him.

Jane was still lying on his couch, hands folded neatly across his stomach. He looked up at Cho, irritation coursed through him. "What do you want exactly?"

"You do realize that this case is a Red John case."

"I do."

Cho stood there in silence.

"Get along to the point, Cho," Jane said. "I don't have all day to lie here awake when I could be napping."

"Do you think Red John's going to try to come after Lisbon again?"

Jane moved so that he was sitting and his legs swung around so that his feet hit the floor. He straightened up and suddenly noticed that Van Pelt and Rigsby were staring at them, obviously waiting to see his response. This was even a touchier subject than it was when they'd originally become a team because it was so much closer to home. It wasn't just him that was affected, but the whole team as well.

Lisbon was the center of their team and he knew that it had negatively impacted them all when she'd been taken by Red John…both times. Hightower would most likely fire them all if their unproductively plummeted back down to where it had been the last time Lisbon had been taken. After all, none of them would take Lisbon's place. It wasn't that easy.

"What I think and what is going to happen are two different things," Jane said slowly. He stared up at Cho. "We're not going to let that happen though, right?"

"Right," Cho agreed with a nod. "None of us are going anywhere alone."

"Lisbon just needs her space I think right now," Jane said. "But that doesn't mean that we're going to leave her alone." He had been keeping an eye on Lisbon through her office window. He'd purposely peek in at her when he went to go get his tea and he'd noticed that he wasn't the only one. Everyone else would peek in as well. It came with them all being concerned with her well-being.

"That's why we're worried," Cho said.

"Well, I can go in there and harass her, but I think she may shoot me," Jane told him and looked towards the others. "Though, then you'd have an even four. Makes pairs easier."

Cho just stared.

"Tough audience today," he mumbled.

To keep everyone safe was Jane's goal and it was something that sounded fairly easy, but he knew better. Things were never that easy especially when it came to Red John. They had to be careful, extremely so.

"You know we can't stay too close," Cho said.

"I know," Jane said with a nod and then got to his feet. "Lisbon will not be happy if she thinks we're 'babying' her," he said as he used air quotes for the last part. They all grouped up to a single table. They needed to plan.

Working together was the only one any of them was going to make it through this alive. They could do it, Jane was sure of it. Though he knew that when Lisbon_ did_ find out that they'd all been plotting without her and at the same time strategizing without her. He would deal with any of her wrath later. It was going to be well worth it though if they all came out of it alive.

"Minelli's been hanging around Lisbon," Rigsby said quietly.

Jane had noticed that Cho had positioned himself so that he could see if anyone approached. Of course right now he was just worried about Lisbon, Minelli, or Hightower hearing. No one else would probably care, eavesdrop, or know what they were talking about.

"Better Lisbon than the rest of us," Cho stated.

"So, technically there's six of us if we take into account Minelli," Van Pelt said.

"I call Lisbon as my buddy," Jane said quickly. "Lisbon may threaten to shoot me, but I doubt she would—"

"I wouldn't be so sure," Cho said.

"Minelli would probably kill me just dealing with my need for snacks and food in a timely matter," Jane said. "And I'm not even talking about my 'antics'."

"Well, I guess—" Rigsby began.

Cho quickly cut him off. "I'll keep an eye on Minelli."

"You know Lisbon will make this harder for us all," Jane said. He looked over his shoulder just to make sure that they weren't being overheard. "She's not going to put Grace and Rigsby together every time."

"He's right," Rigsby agreed.

"I'll run interference," Jane volunteered.

"I'll get Lisbon to keep us in pairs," Cho said.

. . .

**Later that day…**

They'd been there all day long. The team was working the case from the office; they were awaiting crime scene results and putting together a suspect list. Hightower had ordered that everything go through her in order to be as 'diplomatic' as possible. Jane was pretty sure she just didn't want him to piss off anyone else that had power.

He really didn't like politics.

Of course, Jane didn't believe in 'kissing up' as part of politics. Capitol hill was full of liars and greedy people. Jane didn't like either. He wasn't sure which was worse, those who were dishonest or those who were greedy.

With the day ending, he'd let himself into Lisbon's office. Since she didn't argue, he made himself comfortable on the couch. Lisbon was quiet and busy, he wondered if it had anything to do with Minelli camping in her office for the majority of the day. Jane figured that if she wanted to share with him then she would.

So, Jane made himself comfortable and waited.

. . .

TBC…


	5. You Cannot Escape the Past

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 5 – "You Cannot Escape the Past"**

**Author's Note: **

...

""_We cannot change our past. We can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude." - Charles R. Swindoll_

**CBI Headquarters**

Lisbon wasn't sure what to feel. They hadn't even been able to fully explore the murder of the governor's babysitter and here they were with another Red John case. So soon. It was all classic Red John. Just like the last murder. There was nothing to dispute. No hope for a copy cat wanting attention. This was Red John. She hadn't told Jane yet. 

Sighing, she stared at the picture of this new face drawn in blood on the wall of their newest crime scene. She knew it was wrong…silly even…but that face scared her to death. Before it had just been creepy and disturbing, but now there was a different connection. To her, this was like a warning torch telling them to turn around and go back the way they'd come. She couldn't do that. This was her job. She was a CBI agent, they dealt with homicide. She couldn't go back…what would she go back to? She needed her job. She wanted her job. She didn't want to live without it. This was her life…though she knew that that was silly. There was more to life than how she lived it. She knew that, but she hadn't been able to step beyond that. Not yet at least.

It was close by too. Only an hour away. She'd have to tell Jane…and the rest of the team. She looked out of her office window and could see Jane, Cho, Rigsby, and Van Pelt all sitting together chatting. Jane, she figured, was making some kind of joke since they all seemed amused by it (well not Cho, but when did she ever see him look amused?). It was good though; she just hoped that morale remained like that. Deep inside, she wanted to keep this from them, but she knew she couldn't. They were her team and they all needed to work together on this.

Red John.

Lisbon dropped the photo of the wall with the crying smiley face painted in blood from their new crime scene. She allowed her face to fall into her hands and she squeezed her eyes shut. She tried not to think about it, but it was something that she couldn't keep herself from thinking about. She was still working through it, though not with a shrink. That was really the last thing she needed.

There was a gentle knock on her door. She lifted her head to see Jane waving from the other side of her door. The window did make things easier to screen those who wished to enter her office. She motioned for him to enter. He'd been kind enough to give her space…but she couldn't keep him away forever. She didn't want to though, either. She'd honestly missed him.

"You okay?" Jane asked the minute the door shut behind him.

She nodded. "Just a headache," she lied. Well, it wasn't a complete lie.

"There's another Red John case, isn't there?"

Frowning, she nodded slowly. "San Francisco."

"Not far."

"No. Not far."

Jane moved to sit across from her and Lisbon suddenly felt the need to make some kind of physical contact with him. Maybe it was just the need for reassurance that things were going to be okay. Even if it was the slightest reassurance that she would remain safe. Yes, she was a cop…an agent for the CBI…injury and death were both possible scenarios with her job description, but she wanted that sugar coating.

"Where's Minelli?" Jane asked as he looked around.

"He's with Hightower as far as I know," Lisbon replied. She pushed the photos that they'd already received towards him. She knew that it wasn't anything new to Jane. She was sure that more than anyone; Jane was the most familiar with these types of photos when it came to Red John. Lisbon had told him time and time again that when they finally caught Red John that she'd ensure that Red John saw the correct type of justice. That he'd get a trial… She was past that. Past all of it.

"Are we going to the crime scene?" Jane asked.

Lisbon noticed that his voice was quiet and calm. He'd briefly looked at the pictures and she'd wondered for a moment if he saw his wife in those pictures. "Yes," she responded quietly. "As soon as Minelli gets back."

"Do we really need him to chaperone?"

"Do you want me to be cleared once and for all?" she asked. Lisbon wasn't too keen on the shadow, but she knew that right now it was necessary.

"I wouldn't mind if you were confined to the office truthfully," Jane told her.

Sighing, Lisbon shook her head. "You and I both know that me being inside CBI wouldn't stop Red John. It's never stopped him before. He's proven to us all, many times over, that he can get to any one of us if and when he wants to." She shifted her gaze so that she was staring right at him. "It's better that I'm in the field… For morale—"

"Yours or ours?"

"Both? Either? All?" she tried and then just shrugged. "If I stay here, Jane…then that means that he's won. He's won by keeping me from doing my job properly. I won't let him affect me like that. We'll take precautions, but I'm not going to just hide in my office while you and the team are out there investigating."

"I know," Jane said even quieter.

"Minelli's coming," she whispered as she moved a bit in her chair and picked up the file to look as if she were working on the case already. She watched from the corner of her eye as Minelli opened and shut her door. He looked irritated and even more so when he spotted Jane in her office.

"I thought you'd banned him," Minelli said.

"Not yet," Jane said.

"Yet, being the key word there," Lisbon said, her words were serious, but the look she exchanged with Jane relayed her joking. She smiled a little. "So, are we ready to proceed up to San Francisco?"

"Hightower's already cleared us to be lead on this case once we roll in," Minelli said. "Inform your team."

"Yes, Boss."

"Don't call me that."

. . .

**San Francisco**

The crime scene was pretty standard when it came to Red John. They'd ensured that it wasn't a copy cat. Everything was perfectly in place. Jane had even seconded her declaration that they were definitely dealing with Red John. Though, she had almost wished that it were a copy cat…or something…something not Red John.

She found herself staring at the crying smiley face drawn in the victim's blood on the wall. She'd seen too many of these… She'd drawn it herself with her own blood in the snow… Lisbon bit her lip and held back tears that had begun to form in her tear ducts. They desperately wanted to push forward, but she kept them at bay.

The persistent ringing and vibrating of her cell phone scared her enough to cause her to jump. She closed her eyes for a moment as she pulled the phone from her jacket pocket. She didn't bother to look at the caller ID. "Lisbon," she said as she put the phone to her ear.

"That's not your name, Teresa…"

The voice made her eyes go wide and she struggled to keep a hold of the phone in her hand along with keeping her composure. Simon. Simon was calling her. He was in jail awaiting trial…yes, he had phone privileges, but where on Earth did he manage to get her cell phone number? "What do you want, Simon?" she asked as she turned her back to the face on the wall. She couldn't bear to look at it, especially not when she was talking to Simon on the phone.

"I want you to come visit me," he said.

She shook her head and it took her a moment to process that he wasn't there. He couldn't see her. "No," she managed to get out. Lisbon really fought back the tears now. The memories that surfaced were not pleasant ones. "No… The next time you'll see me is in court, when I'm there to tell them all about what you did."

"I took care of you, Teresa. I cared for you. I protected you. I protected our family."

"You twist things—"

"Come see me, Teresa…"

"No!" she yelled this time and then ended the call. She wiped her face. The tears had fallen even though she had desperately tried to keep them from doing so. Lisbon pulled in a deep breath and tried to focus on calming.

"Lisbon? You okay?"

The voice behind her belonged to that of Wayne Rigsby. She just nodded, not facing him. She couldn't. Not yet. She was a mess. Maybe Hightower was right to question whether or not she was ready to be back on duty. "What have you found?" she asked slowly, purposely taking the time so that it came out clear and calm. She wiped her face again and reminded herself that she needed to calm down. This wasn't going to help.

"Looks standard Red John," Rigsby said. "Not sure if there's a reason why he picked the victim. We'll have to look more into her history and background back at the office."

Lisbon nodded. "Thanks."

"You sure you're—"

"I'm fine," she said and turned, but kept her gaze down. "Thank you, though, for your concern."

Rigsby nodded before leaving her. Lisbon sighed and glanced back at the face on the wall. The intensity of the ability to reach out and actually touch the wall rather than it merely being a photograph brought back chilling memories, coupled with Simon's voice made it unbearable. Maybe she couldn't do her job? At least not the Red John cases… She didn't know how Jane didn't break down crying every five minutes while on one of these cases. He'd suffered so much more and she hated to think it, but he was holding things together far better than she was.

She headed out of the room and towards the outside world. She needed air. She needed to breathe. Lisbon felt like allowing the tears to burst again when she hurriedly passed Minelli, she'd seen his questioning gaze. She didn't stop to answer it or explain. Lisbon wanted air and she wanted it now.

Stumbling out of the house, she made it far enough away before she collapsed on the lawn. Her stomach was clenching and her vision was blurred as her head spun.

"Lisbon!"

Not even caring to recognize the name, she tried to command her body not to do what she knew was coming. She allowed her eyes to close as her body purged itself. She felt her hair being moved back and a hand holding her physically. God she hoped it was Jane and she hoped Minelli was nowhere in sight. Though, she had a feeling that she wasn't going to get off that easily. Her body tried to purge anything else and ended up with just a bit of stomach acid; she felt the tears streaming down her face against her will.

"It's okay…" the voice said, calmly and soothingly.

She found herself being carefully moved to her feet. Her cell phone was still clutched tightly in one of her hands. Lisbon came face to face with Jane and she allowed herself to relax a bit. He was wiping her mouth with a napkin or tissue of some kind and though it made her feel a little like a child, she appreciated it. "I'm okay," she said a little shakily. In truth, she now felt utterly weak. It was something that came with throwing up, not only were the nutrients purged from your body, but it was a physical thing as well that taxed the whole body. She felt sweaty and a little unstable.

"I know," Jane whispered.

Lisbon's eyes fell upon Virgil Minelli standing by the doorway to the house, staring at her. Her eyes lowered. "Oh no…" she whispered, this time not caring if the tears came or not. He was going to report her as unfit and she'd lose her job…maybe not the CBI but her place as leader of her team.

"I told her she shouldn't have eaten that sandwich out of that vending machine," Jane said.

She wasn't sure if Minelli would even ponder believing that. Though, Jane could be convincing. She did have the whole fact that she hadn't broken down at the last Red John crime scene in her favor. "Thanks," she whispered.

"Come on," Jane said as he guided her down to one of their vehicles parked in front of the house. He purposely took her around to the side where Minelli couldn't spy, that hadn't been lost on her. It was a slow neighborhood street, so they could get away with having one of the doors open.

She allowed him to open the door for her and for the help remaining steady as she climbed into the vehicle. She sat, her body facing him as he stood there. "I'm sorry…" she whispered and forced the tears to stay back this time, she couldn't look at him. She moved her gaze to stare at the random light pole down the street.

"Teresa," he said quietly. "You have nothing to be sorry about." He reached out handed her a water bottle. She accepted it. "They're going to want to know what happened… I'd just stick with my bad sandwich story… Totally believable."

Lisbon couldn't help but smile in response. She closed the lid of the water bottle and set it aside. "It wasn't the crime scene…at least not at first," she told him. Holding up her cell phone, she really pressed the tears back. "Simon called me while I was in there."

"But he's locked up."

"He still has phone privileges, though how he got my number…I have no idea."

"What did he want?"

"He wanted me to come see him…and then I looked at the face on the wall and it was like a flood of everything I've felt in the last couple of months…like it came rushing and crashing on me."

Jane reached out and touched her face. He was gentle and it was comforting. His eyes met hers. "He's not going to touch you. Not Red John. Not Simon."

"I know," Lisbon whispered and she half believed it. The phone sounded again and she jumped once again. She looked down at the number and recognized it from a few minutes ago. She just stared at it for a moment before it was snatched from her hands. She watched as Jane answered it.

"Hello," Jane said.

She watched intently. It calmed her a bit to not be the one to handle him. She'd had enough of Simon; the possibility of Simon walking was the only reason she'd agreed to go into court when his case was called to trial in order to testify. It wasn't something that she was looking forward to.

"Yes, this is Patrick Jane," he said as he looked up at her. "She's here…"

For a moment, she hated hearing only half of the conversation, but then there was something peaceful about not knowing what Simon was saying. Though Jane wasn't the most trustworthy person on her team in general, she knew that he wouldn't do anything to endanger her, not when it came to Red John.

"I'll give her the message," Jane said before hanging up.

"So?" she said, she could hear that her own voice had returned to normal in the time they'd been there.

"He wants to see you," Jane relayed.

"No."

"He says he has a message from Red John."

Lisbon covered her face with her hands. She didn't want to go. It was the last thing in the world that she wanted to do. Especially now. But Simon could be a lead on both of her cases. A lead that they desperately needed. Though she had a feeling that he wanted her there for other reasons, there was still a possibility of getting some kind of clue. She didn't want to go. She knew she had to though. She needed to do her job. Investigate all leads, no matter where they came from.

"He's probably lying," Jane spoke up. "Trying to get you there the only way he knows you'll go."

"I know."

"So, you're going to go?" he said, bending down a bit to look her fully in the face. When she nodded he touched her face again. "I'll go with you."

"Jane—"

"I am, you need someone there with you."

"But—"

"Would you rather Minelli?"

"No."

"Or Rigsby or Cho or Van Pelt?"

"No."

"Then we're settled," he said after a moment.

She closed her eyes for a moment. She needed to go back to the crime scene. She needed to be working the case, both of the cases. Lisbon knew she needed to be able to handle things. Lips kissed her forehead and she opened her eyes to see Jane as he pulled away. She reached out and grabbed his arm, seeking the physical contact with him that she'd yearned for before. At first, it was something that just merely to stop him from moving, but then she allowed herself to press herself against him and wrap her arms around him in a hug. She needed it. She needed to be held. She needed to know that she wasn't alone in all of this. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her face into his chest. His arms took a moment to wrap around her. Lisbon was sure that it'd came as a surprise to him. "Thank you," she whispered.

"I'm always here for you, Lisbon."

. . .

TBC…


	6. Comfort

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 6 – "Comfort"**

**Author's Note: **A bit of a spoiler. Red John WILL be revealed by the end of this fic. This is just who I think is most likely to be Red John.

...

"_There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right _

_next to the one you love." - Unknown_

**CBI Headquarters**

Lisbon had been in her office since they'd returned to headquarters. Minelli had gone in there for some time followed by Hightower. He had spent his time with the others and they had so far determined that it was just in concern. Jane hoped so.

Jane signaled the rest of the team that Minelli and Hightower were evacuating Lisbon's office and they all went back to looking like they were doing something productive. Of course, the others were actually working on important things and were actually being productive. While he was just sitting at Cho's desk as he drank his tea. He kept an eye on Minelli and Hightower and waited until they'd both been gone for a good ten minutes before getting up. He left his teacup and saucer on Cho's desk. He headed for Lisbon's office. He needed to check on her.

He looked both ways to ensure that Hightower and Minelli were gone before finally entering Lisbon's office. He entered and closed the door behind him. He found her behind her desk with a pen to paper. Obviously she was doing paperwork, but it was the look on her face when she looked up at him that stopped him in his tracks. She looked scared…no, terrified.

"They didn't buy the sandwich story?" he asked as he stayed by the door.

"Actually they did," she said quietly. "I almost wish they didn't…"

"They were in here for a long while," Jane said as he sat down across from her. "We'd begun to think that they weren't believing it.

"I don't know if I can do this, Jane. Honestly, I don't know."

Jane frowned. He could tell that she was about done. He had a feeling that the whole team felt that way. "We're close."

"We've been close for how long?"

"Did you tell them about Simon?" Jane asked. He knew that it as a touchy subject, but he needed to know if they'd be told anything about Lisbon's calls. Jane was certain that that component was going to make things much more difficult for Lisbon.

Lisbon nodded. "They both want me to go."

"I'm going with you."

"Jane," she said as she looked up at him. Her eyes were sad and the green irises had darkened. "He'll use you…he'll use our relationship…"

"You shouldn't be alone. We've discussed this."

"I know."

And he knew she did. She knew that she didn't need to be alone and that they weren't going to allow her to feel like she was alone either. They were all there for her, whether or not she knew that. "When do you want to go?"

"Minelli and Hightower agreed that I'd go in the morning. They're hoping that my food sickness will pass by then," Lisbon said.

"Will it?" Jane asked, even though he knew that she hadn't been sick because of the food. He knew too much about what was going on. He knew too much about Red John and what those cases entailed.

She nodded slowly. "I have to. Simon might actually have something helpful to say."

"You know though, someone else could do this…you don't_ have_ to be the one to do it," he said with concern. He was worried for her. Worried that she'd break…break even more. Everyone was already concerned with the state that she was in. This could make everything worse. "CBI has to have some expert interrogators or something that could get the same information from him."

"Jane!" she snapped at him. "I don't need you to protect me!"

Her sudden upset and anger surprised him and Jane was actually taken aback by it. He was only trying to help. He'd thought that he'd given her the space that she needed up to this point, but he and the rest of the team had agreed (without her) that Lisbon needed to be protected at all costs. That no one would be left alone. There was a different type of tension between them and Jane was pretty sure that it was only because they'd both admitted their feelings and then came to the mutual conclusion that now wasn't the time. How he wished things were different…

"I just want to help—"

"I don't need you to protect me, Jane!" she yelled.

"You know that's not what I mean… You're my gun," Jane reminded her. "I'm probably the last person in the world who could protect you." It was true. Jane couldn't protect her, no matter how hard he tried. No matter how much he tried, he couldn't. That was the sad truth of the situation. Jane wished that it were different, that he could do something. That he_ could_ protect her.

"I-I know…" she managed to get out after a moment. Her voice was quiet and her eyes diverted down to the paperwork in front of her.

"Have dinner with me?"

It was a simple request. He figured that maybe if they had dinner then she'd relax. That maybe she'd remember that he was there for her. Maybe he couldn't protect her, but he hoped to comfort her and help her through this. Jane figured that that was enough.

"What?" she asked as her gaze rose to meet his. There was confusion there.

He wasn't surprised that he'd caught her off guard. "Have dinner with me…" he repeated softly as he reached out to grasp her hand. He gently squeezed it as he stared into her green eyes.

"Jane—"

"It's just dinner… You need to eat. I need to eat. Why not eat together?"

She smiled a bit in response. Just a bit. Enough, though, to give him hope that she was really going to make it through this okay. "Fine," she agreed.

"Good," he said with a bright smile. "Just remember…there's a difference between me being protective and me being your friend and looking out for you." Silence passed between them for a minute. The tension was still there, but she seemed more relaxed.

"I know," she said. "I'm just having a hard time…and Minelli and Hightower aren't making any of this any easier for me."

"I know. We all know," Jane said calmly. "But we're here for you. Just like we're always here for you. For each other."

Dinner would come later and he'd lie quietly on her couch until that time came along. He'd force her to relax. He'd be there if she needed to be held or if she needed to cry. And maybe, just maybe…he'd convince her to allow him to spend the night. Jane just wanted to be there for her…and though they couldn't be together…not in the romantic way…but they'd still be together.

. . .

TBC…


	7. Haunting

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 7 – "Haunting"**

**Author's Note: **A bit of a spoiler. Red John WILL be revealed by the end of this fic. This is just who I think is most likely to be Red John.

...

"_Now those memories come back to haunt me_

_They haunt me like a curse" – Bruce Springsteen_

**California State Prison, Sacramento**

Lisbon hadn't slept. Knowing what the day was going to bring her brought fear and worry. She'd have to see him again. She said she would. She had to. This was for CBI. More than that, she had to do it for herself…and ultimately she considered it to have to deal with the safety of the team.

He'd call her 'Teresa' like she was his wife, she'd prepared for that. She already knew that his attorney was trying to try his case with insanity involved, that Simon had done what he'd done because he was grief sicken about his wife and child. That didn't comfort her. She knew that he'd been sane enough to make them into a different family. He had never called her by his late wife's name.

As they went through security, she just found herself spacing out. She did everything asked, but she felt like she was on autopilot. That perhaps this wasn't real. She knew that it was… Lisbon wanted something to happen, desperately she wanted something to happen where the prison was locked down and either she and Jane had to sit in a room or could leave…and without seeing Simon.

With each step, she knew that that wasn't going to happen. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't. Lisbon found something touching her hand and it pulled her from her trance. She looked down quickly to see that Jane's hand had slipped into hers. Her eyes moved up to look at him. She had a feeling that he'd sensed her unease and was trying to comfort her. Right now, she could use the comfort but she knew that it wasn't going to help things. Simon still very much thought that she was his wife and if Jane was "comforting" her then he wouldn't be happy and possibly wouldn't help them. They needed him to help.

"I'm okay," she said quietly as she gently pulled her hand free.

"I know that's a lie," Jane whispered. "But I understand."

Lisbon gave him a small smile. She appreciated it and she hoped he knew that. Just right now wasn't the time or place for it. After this, though, she may very well need Jane to hold her while she cried or to just listen to her vent. Either way, she knew that Jane would be there for her once this was all over. Maybe it was better that he came. She honestly knew that she'd have backed out of this way before now if she'd come on her own. Lisbon could come up with a billion excuses and no one would really be able to counter her about it if they weren't there.

The approached the small room in which they were able to speak with Simon. They were accompanied by a guard, who would be staying in the room with them. She was thankful for that. Though she was a law enforcement officer, she was still worried that she'd freeze up or something if something happened and they were alone. Inside the small room was a table set up with three chairs. Two on one side and one on the other. They had made sure that there was just enough furniture. It made sense, that way a fourth chair couldn't be used as a weapon, though Lisbon knew that if either of them wanted to hurt someone in there that they could make due with what was there.

She and Jane sat in the two chairs on the one side and the guard stood behind them. She kept her eyes down; she still didn't want to see Simon. Really, the events were far too fresh in her mind. It was bad enough that she had to talk to him; she really didn't think that she needed to see him face-to-face. The sound of the other door opening brought panic racing through her. Lisbon felt so weak. What had happened to her? She would normally face suspects face-to-face and she had never had a problem before, but now… Yes, Simon had been the one who had hurt her…who had kept her captive. She was the victim in this case, but hell if she wanted to feel like a victim.

"Teresa…"

Lisbon cringed at his voice and found Jane squeezing her thigh lightly. She looked up at him and though he wasn't smiling at her, he was reminding her that he was there with her. She was safe.

Safe.

Could she really ever think of herself of being that safe ever again? It was almost a joke at how not safe she actually was living her own life.

"I see that you brought, Mr. Jane with you," Simon said. "I had hoped that perhaps Red John would have visited you by now."

She moved her gaze, so that she was looking at Simon. She tried to concentrate at the guard behind him. She tried to make it easier by doing that. The guard was her focus point. Also, it was reassuring to know that there were two guards. "Simon, we're here.." Lisbon said quietly. "You said you'd talk about Red John…"

"You said you had a message," Jane prompted.

"You're not going to like it," Simon said.

Lisbon could feel Simon's eyes on her and she was glad that she'd chosen her button up shirt and sweater that completely covered her chest. The sweater's neckline circled her neck and it kept her from feeling a bit violated as well. "Tell me."

"Tell me something first."

Lisbon frowned. "What?"

"How are you and Katie? I've missed you both, you know… I was hoping that maybe you'd visit more often…without Mr. Jane in tow."

She had a feeling that perhaps this was to help with his trial. He really wanted to be thought of as 'insane' in some way. This was certainly an insane request to ask. "We're fine," Lisbon barely got out.

"Good," Simon said.

He tried to slip his cuffed hands forward to touch her hands and she pulled herself far back in her chair and the guards yelled at him. He stopped his actions. "Please Simon, tell me the message," Lisbon said. She mostly was still being nice because she hoped he stopped dragging out the conversation so that she could leave sooner.

"Red John says to tell you that 'Jane took what wasn't his to take'. I'm sure Red John will be coming for you soon, though, Mr. Jane," Simon said with a smile.

Lisbon was quiet for a long moment. Her mind raced at the message. Then she was finally able to focus somewhat. "How did he get you this message?"

"Red John has his ways of contacting me."

Lisbon frowned deeper. "Simon, please…how does he contact you?"

"Maybe I'll tell you if you can get them to agree to a conjugal visit," Simon said with a smile. "We were interrupted last time…"

"I think we're done here," Lisbon told the guards.

The guard on the far side attended to getting Simon moved out of the room. Jane was already by the door on their side, while Lisbon just waited. She was processing. She wished he'd told her more, but she had to admit that what she knew already was enough to keep her worried for some time now. She waited patiently as the other guard went to open the door; he went down in a split second. Not even enough time for Lisbon to really process. Simon was already after the other guard by the time Lisbon reacted. The first thing she did was get up and move towards Jane. She honestly didn't think that Simon would hurt her, all the times he'd hurt her before had been because he was frustrated. The guards and then Jane were likely to be his primary targets.

She knew that the guards were still speaking. She wasn't really in tune with what they were doing; she was hoping that they were radioing for backup. She noticed then that they were both down and Simon was moving towards them. Lisbon yanked Jane farther away from where Simon was currently. It was then that she noticed that he'd managed to sneak in a shiv of some kind.

"Don't protect him, Teresa…" Simon said.

Lisbon pressed Jane into the corner and she stood in front of him. Of course, Jane was taller than her, but it was the best she could do under the circumstances. "Please stop this, Simon."

"I want you back, Teresa…" he said as he closed the short distance between them. "And Mr. Jane is in the way."

"I'm really not," Jane said quickly and obviously frightened.

Lisbon pulled in a breath. "Jane is just here as a friend," she tried. "He wanted to make sure I wasn't alone."

"I didn't hurt you…not really," Simon said. "Red John had hurt you…but I had made sure that you were well taken care of…"

Lisbon pondered whether or not to play into things. She had a feeling that that would be the best thing to do with these circumstances, but she wasn't sure if she could do it. She really was panicking right now and she was afraid that if she tried to play like she cared about him that he wouldn't see it as truthful and they'd be in more trouble. Lisbon just hoped that backup was coming. She let out a scream when Simon lunged at them; she reacted as best as she could, but she cried out when the shiv came into contact with her skin. He'd cut her arm. She had a feeling that he'd intended to hurt Jane though.

"Move away from him… I'll fix things. Things will be better without Mr. Jane here," Simon said.

"Red John doesn't want him for himself?" Lisbon asked.

"I'm sure he does, but he's in the way," Simon said.

"You wouldn't want Red John upset with you though," Lisbon told him logically. She hoped that maybe it would at least buy them a few minutes. And it did. Simon thought about it. One of the doors opened and there was screaming and suddenly the air was filled with the acid-like spray of mace. She reached out and knocked the weapon out of his hand and was glad when she heard the clink when it hit the floor. He was being pulled away from them and though Lisbon was in a lot of pain, she didn't move. She could hear Jane's agony behind her, but didn't move.

Minutes later, the room was cleared of them all. The two guards and the two of them were being taken to the medical unit in the facility. Upon arrival, it was rightly so more about the guards then about them. The cut she had wasn't bad, it just stung more now.

"Do you happen to have a bag with clothes in your vehicle?" a nurse asked.

"Yes," Lisbon responded. "We both do."

"I can call up to the front and have them have someone retrieve them from your vehicle. You'll be more comfortable if you shower here and change. The spray isn't just going to dissipate off your clothing currently."

Lisbon nodded. "Sure. They're in the trunk. It's a black SUV with government plates."

"It's going to be a few minutes, but I'd suggest you both go ahead and shower and I'll bring the bags."

"She's cut, too," Jane reminded.

"We can treat the cut after as well," the nurse said.

"It really isn't that bad," Lisbon said.

The nurse showed them to the showering area and told them that they were going to suffer much less if they showered with cold water. The hot water would just open their pores and make it worse. Lisbon was thankful for the advice.

. . .

Nearly a half an hour later, they were both showered, dressed, and waiting. Lisbon had gotten her t-shirt on and then had held a towel over the still bleeding cut on her arm until someone could look at it. She knew it wasn't bad, but Jane insisted. They'd been informed that both of the guards were going to be fine and had been transported to the local hospital for care. Simon had also been locked down after the event.

"It's not that bad," the doctor said.

"I've been saying that," Lisbon said.

"Best to have it treated though," he said as he swabbed the area clean with disinfectant and then carefully taped it up. "You're going to want to keep it clean and dry. I'm not going to wrap it, but if he hasn't started to close in a couple of days, you'll need to see your primary care doctor."

Lisbon nodded.

"Do you know when your last tetanus was?"

"No."

"Just to be sure, I'm going to give you that while you're here. Just in case."

Lisbon nodded.

Another ten minutes and they were be escorted to the front gate. The clothes they had come in with had been double bagged and tied off. Even though currently the mace wasn't seeping out of it, Lisbon had planned that both bags would end up in her trunk. It would be much safer that way.

"You okay?" Jane asked as they headed for the SUV.

"I'm fine," she said. "Are _you _okay?"

"Just…that wasn't how I expected things to go… I don't plan on getting maced ever again though…"

Lisbon smiled a bit at him. It was good for him. He caused so much trouble sometimes. It was good for him to have to deal with the consequences once in a while. "Yeah, the stuff they use in there is nasty."

"What Simon said in there…"

"You think that Red John may come after me?" she asked, she allowed herself to phase back to serious. "Jane, there's nothing we can do if that's his plan. You and I both know that. No matter how locked up I am or protected…Red John always gets past. If he wants to take me, then he'll get me."

"I wish you wouldn't speak so casually like that… He's not taking you again," Jane told her.

"He's already taken me, what? Two times now?"

"The second time…I let—"

"I told you that that wasn't your fault, Jane," Lisbon said quickly. He was still beating himself up over saying that Red John could take her so that she could receive medical care. Red John had kept his word. She'd been fixed. She was alive. But Jane wouldn't allow himself to forget that moment.

"Stay with me tonight," Jane asked as they got into the car.

"Jane, I'm not going to hide," Lisbon said. "And after all of this, I want to sleep in my own bed tonight."

"Then let me stay with you."

"No."

"Lisbon…"

"No, Jane." In truth, she wanted him to stay with her. She knew that she'd feel better, but she wouldn't allow himself to find one more thing to blame himself for. And her fear was that Red John would take her again with Jane present and she couldn't bear with him setting that additional weight of grief on top of what was already there. She knew that one day Jane would snap. The weight would be too much for him. Lisbon feared for when that day finally arrived.

. . .

TBC…


	8. Could the Past Repeat?

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 8 – "Could the Past Repeat?"**

**Author's Note: **A bit of a spoiler. Red John WILL be revealed by the end of this fic. This is just who I think is most likely to be Red John.

...

_"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - __George Santayana_

**Outside of Lisbon's Residence**

Jane had thought about what Lisbon had said. The things that had been said inside the prison. He'd taken what wasn't his. Jane had come to the sole conclusion that Red John intended to take back what he thought of as his, Lisbon. Jane wouldn't allow it. He wasn't honestly sure how he'd stop it, but that was the general plan. He'd even wished that she hadn't come back after the last time. That maybe Lisbon had decided to retire from the CBI and give it a go somewhere else…maybe a nice fruit stand. Something simple.

He sat in his car and stared disinterested for a moment at the small bag of fast food that he'd picked up before he'd found a good parking place in front of Lisbon's place. He had thought ahead of course with the food, but now the food was far from appetizing. Perhaps he'd made a mistake leaving it in the bag? The grease had started to soak the bag. At least the grease couldn't attack his drink? He'd wanted tea, but he was pretty sure the acne-plagued teen had merely laughed at him when he was ordering. How was that silly? Tea was a perfectly respected drink! But alas, all he had was soda.

He thought about the corn syrup filled substance. It had carbonation, which apparently was supposed to make you peppy. Bubbles equaled that, or at least that's what the commercials on television would try to convince you. Of course, if they really showed a realistic representation of what soda did to you, then he doubted the American people would continue to drink such nonsense. Of course, Jane wondered how the FDA allowed such a thing to get a green seal of approval. He wondered if they'd noticed that there were lists of things (other than consumption) you could use soda for. He had to admit that though he was drinking this possibly lethal substance that his life wasn't the one he feared for, so it didn't matter…and if there was anything left over then he could use it to clean his toilet bowl. Apparently toilet bowl cleaner could be bought in a can of soda now instead of buying all the harsh bleach cleaners. Jane wasn't surprised either. This was exactly why he didn't understand why tea wasn't available everywhere. Perhaps it was a conspiracy… It wasn't like you could use tea to clean your toilet bowl… Perhaps some conspiracy to kill ninety percent of the population? Something… Maybe he'd write his local congressman later. Maybe.

He hummed as he sat there, occasionally he'd catch a glimpse of Lisbon's silhouette. There was some comforting and yet disconcerting about being able to see her in some form. At least he knew that she was inside and probably following her normal routine. On the other hand, if anyone was watching (someone from Red John's operation, not him) they'd know that Lisbon was home as well and though it wasn't Red John's style…Lisbon could be seen as a target. He didn't like that.

Jane decided that he was going to have to give in and eat the food he'd picked up. After all, with his stomach making such angry noises at him it wasn't like he could hold out much longer. And leaving to get something else just wasn't an option.

. . .

**A Couple Hours Later…**

Jane jolted from his sleep in panic and then immediately internally chastised himself for falling asleep. He wasn't supposed to do that! Another knock and bright light shining in on him, he moved his attention to the window. He rolled down the window as he squinted in that direction. "Is there a problem, Officer?" he asked innocently.

He was busted.

"Hand me your identification and keys," the officer said.

Jane frowned. "Don't you want to see my vehicle registration and insurance?"

"No, just the ID and keys."

Jane could see in his rear view mirror that he was in fact a valid policeman, but that didn't mean that he liked this. He was hoping that he wouldn't get found out. He was trying to be subtle and to not bring any attention to himself. Apparently when you ate junk food and fell asleep in your car you called attention to yourself. Jane handed him his ID and keys. "Can I ask what's wrong?"

"What is your business here, Mr. Jane?" the policeman said as he focused on the ID.

"Just…waiting…for a friend," he lied.

"Been waiting long?"

"Actually yes… Women, you know they take so long to get ready…"

"Wait here," the officer said before heading to his car.

Jane watched the officer in his rearview mirror and frowned intensely. He was going to so hear about it or better yet they may decide to drive him 'downtown'. Of course that just wouldn't do because that wouldn't work with his plan. He waited and was getting quickly impatient with how long this was taking. He pondered as he spied on the officer from where he sat; perhaps he was calling for back-up? Honestly though, Jane wondered if they were calling Lisbon or worse…Hightower… That really wouldn't make his night.

He sighed.

He watched.

He grew really impatient.

Jane was about to get out of his car (though he knew it really wasn't something that you should do) when the officer returned. Jane flashed an innocent smile his way and waited. He hoped to just have his property returned so that he could 'go on his merry way'. Not that he was really going anywhere…but the officer could think he was.

"Mr. Jane, in the future, we do frown upon sleeping in your car like this," the officer said. "This time is just a warning though."

His keys and ID were returned and Jane gave him a nod. "I understand." He started to silently rejoice at his luck.

"Have a good night," the officer said.

"You too!"

"He's all yours," the officer said as Jane was rolling up his window.

Jane frowned and turned to see Lisbon standing there. She looked irritated but not entirely pissed at him. That was a good sign, wasn't it? She opened the door and he gave her a smile. "Hi Lisbon."

"I thought I told you that I didn't want you staying over," Lisbon stated.

"I was staying in my car?"

Lisbon sighed. "Come on."

Jane was far too excited to have been caught and instead of being told to go home, he was being invited in! He quickly collected what he needed and then got out of his car. It didn't take him long to have it locked up and to be following her up to her door. At least he'd know for sure that she was okay this way.

"This doesn't mean you're not in trouble."

"When am I not in trouble?" Jane asked devilishly.

"That's probably the truest thing you may have ever said," she said as she opened the door for him.

They entered and she locked up. He noticed that from as far as he could tell that she had been going about things like it was a normal evening. He supposed that could be seen as good. He really wanted to just take Lisbon and escape to somewhere far, far away. That wasn't in the cards, though.

"I've said true things before," Jane countered after a few moments.

"Like what?"

He watched her and smiled. He missed this. It was a simple thing, being with her. Jane sometimes forgot what that felt like, to feel like you had a family…a significant other…someone to share your life with. He took a seat on her couch and after a moment she sat down with him. "I told you that I loved you, that was true," he pointed out.

Lisbon didn't say anything though, but she nodded.

"You're in an awfully odd mood," Jane pointed out. She'd been quiet and hadn't yelled at him. He suddenly worried that something was wrong. What could be wrong, though? She was safe there. No one could touch her.

"No, I'm not."

"You're quiet."

She looked at him. "When did it become a crime to be quiet sometimes?"

"Lisbon, you're usually not quiet around me," he pointed out. "Not this quiet…not this early in the evening…" He smiled at her, so that perhaps she didn't take it too seriously.

"I…" she started and then stopped and looked down. She looked like she was thinking about what she was going to say. "I'm scared…" she admitted as she looked up at him. "I hate that feeling, Jane…"

His demeanor changed. "I know you do," Jane said quietly. He knew that one of the things that Lisbon hated was to be seen as weak, especially by people that she cared about. There'd been a lot of that it seemed in the last year. He knew that she'd had self-confidence issues since she'd come back to the CBI. And he couldn't blame her for being afraid of Red John; he'd proven already that he could do anything he wanted.

"I'm scared, too," Jane admitted a short time later.

He was even more scared because now he had a family at the CBI, which put them all in danger. Not only that, but he cared even more about Lisbon… He was sure that Red John knew this.

"I have ice cream," Lisbon said aloud a few minutes later.

They'd been sitting there in awkward silence, so Jane was thankful for the change in topic. "Ice cream sounds good." He got to his feet when she did and followed her towards the kitchen.

"I don't have a cone, so don't ask."

"I like ice cream cones."

"I know you do," she said with a small laugh.

It didn't take long to get the ice cream and they ended up in the bedroom. Jane had removed his shoes and jacket and then had joined Lisbon on the bed. They lie next to eat other and just ate their ice cream. He liked this. Jane was pretty sure he could handle doing this on a permanent basis.

"What?" Lisbon asked.

"What?" Jane asked back. "I didn't say anything."

"You're staring…"

Jane knew he was. "I just was looking at your ice cream. I think you got more than I did!"

"You're the one who dished up both bowls."

"That doesn't mean that you didn't get more," Jane told her with a smile.

. . .

TBC…


	9. Paranoia

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 9 – "Paranoia"**

**Author's Note: **Since I plan on revealing Red John in this fic, I plan on having this finished (fingers crossed!) by Thursday afternoon so that it's up because the episode hits! There's something cool when you figure out the villain before they reveal it! Especially if you're right!

...

_"__ I don't believe in fate or destiny. I believe in various degrees of hatred, paranoia, and abandonment. However much of that gets heaped upon you doesn't matter - it's only a matter of how much you can take and what it does to you." – Henry Rollins_

**Lisbon's Office, CBI Headquarters**

She had been jumping all day. She'd been woken up early that morning to be informed that the prison hadn't been able to locate Simon, they were pretty sure that he'd escaped somehow. There was already an investigation underway. In the meantime, she and her team were off of all of their cases. It wasn't really a great wake up call.

Lisbon had to admit that the lying in bed with Jane had been nice. They'd purposely given themselves some time to just lie there. She'd even allowed Jane to drive her to work, which normally she would insist that they both drive in, but she honestly didn't care this morning.

It was one of those days though. She'd had to do a double take at the coffee shop and then while they were driving, both times she'd sworn she'd seen Simon. Both times she'd been wrong. She hated feeling paranoid. He was out there, that wasn't paranoid, but the waiting for him to be found was hard.

Work wasn't distracting enough. Without a case, they pretty much had nothing to do. She was honestly surprised that Jane wasn't in there lying on the couch. Hightower had ordered them all to stay there. She was worried that Red John and/or Simon may try something and didn't want to chance it. Last she'd checked her team had seemed fine with it. Rigsby and Van Pelt were happily talking (and flirting) while Cho was reading a book at his desk. Jane was nowhere to be found. Knowing Jane, she feared that he'd broken Hightower's rule of staying in place and had gone out to get them fresh fruit…or ice cream…or pizza…or anything else that Jane had thought could cheer everyone up. She honestly wouldn't be surprised if he returned with origami and wind up toys. Nothing surprised her when it came to Jane.

There was a knock at her door; she looked up to find Cho there. "Sorry to disturb you, Boss."

"What's up?"

"Hightower wants to know where Jane is."

Lisbon tried to look innocent. "I thought he said he was going to go make tea?"

"That's what I told her, too."

"That's the last thing he told me," Lisbon said. "You know how finicky he is about his tea prep."

"I'll tell her what you said then."

"Thanks," she said. He started to leave and then she needed to stop him. "Oh! Cho!"

Cho turned back. "Yeah, Boss?"

"Thanks."

"Sure thing."

. . .

**Two Hours Later…**

Lisbon had practically given herself a heart attack already that day. She'd been in the women's bathroom and had looked up for a moment and in the mirror behind her she swore she had seen him. It had only been another woman, who Lisbon in turn had scared when her reaction was rather sudden. Since then, she'd been holed up in her office. Still no sign of Jane. She was sure that he was fine and she prayed to God that he hadn't gone and done something stupid by looking for Red John or Simon.

She looked up briefly, just in time to see Jane running towards her door. At least she saw him as Jane and not Simon. That was something, right? She hoped that was a good sign that she wasn't completely losing it!

Her door swung up and he was there with a bright smile…or was it a devilish grin? Was there really a difference when it came to Jane, though? She sat back in her seat and waited for an explanation of where he'd been. After all, Hightower was not happy with his odd disappearance.

"Come on," Jane said as he motioned for her to come with him.

"Uh uh," she said and crossed her arms over her chest. "You left CBI. Where have you been? What have you been doing?" she asked. Lisbon figured before she got involved in any of Jane's schemes that she may as well have some answers first as it was only fair.

"I didn't leave CBI," Jane told her.

She watched him for a moment, studying his face. She knew that Jane had a poker face, but she believed him when he said this. He looked confused that she had thought such a thing. "Then where have you been?"

"It's a surprise."

"Jane—"

"It's a good surprise."

"Sure it is," she said as she got up from her desk. Honestly, she didn't know what she had to lose to simply go and see what his 'surprise' was. Maybe it was actually something good. She wouldn't mind if it was actually something that was entertaining or helped her relax. Though, she wasn't sure if the latter could happen at the time. She was still so wound up.

Jane led her out of her office and out of their office area. She wondered if he actually had left, but since he hadn't gone through the front doors he didn't consider it leaving in the proper sense. Jane would be the one to find the secret hidden passageway in any building. Lisbon smiled a bit as she followed him. Where he led her was some place that she had never been herself.

He'd been hiding up in the CBI's attic loft area. No one went up there…except Jane apparently. He'd moved stuff around that was obvious. There were two cots set up next to one another on one side of the room. They even looked clean. There was a desk and chair under the large window on one wall. She smiled when she noticed tiny origami figures on the desk, she'd called it.

"I figured we could hide up here for a while."

"Probably not for too long," Lisbon said a bit sadly.

"I have drinks and snacks…" Jane told her as he lured her over to the ice chest.

She couldn't help but smile wider at the assortment of food and drinks he had. He obviously had been outside of the CBI to collect everything.

"I know what you're thinking, but I have a helper."

"Oh?" Lisbon asked, amusement laced her voice.

"He wasn't here yet so I called him up and asked him for a favor." Jane shrugged. "Ask Myers. He owed me."

"Myers?" she questioned and he nodded. "He got chewed out for being late."

"I think it was worth it," Jane said as he looked down at his spoils.

"I may have to agree," she said.

"May?"

"Okay! I do agree!" she said quickly. Lisbon's smile brightened and widened. "So…is this like your clubhouse?"

"Something like that. I think I need a password though. Maybe a secret knock or handshake…"

"You're really surprising," Lisbon told him. She was touched, though. Jane had been thinking about her. It was sweet and maybe she'd be able to relax for all of five minutes.

"Oh, there's more!" Jane told her, a huge grin on his face.

"More of what?"

"You'll see…"

"You know, normally I don't like when you say that…"

"And now?"

She smiled. "In this moment, I'm excited…"

"You should be!" he told her as he went digging through a bag nearby. He pulled out some items and set them on the table.

Crayons and coloring books. She laughed. "I suppose coloring is relaxing…"

"I really never did it, but apparently little kids find it relaxing so it has to be good, right?"

Lisbon nodded. "I don't think we ever outgrow coloring and doodling."

"I have a dinosaur, a princess, a robot, and some kind of superhero coloring book," Jane told her as he flipped through them. "I'm personally thinking about the princess one…"

She couldn't help but laugh at his extreme seriousness. She reached out and took the dinosaur one. She really didn't feel like coloring in elaborate dresses right now, maybe later. She snagged a pack of crayons and sat down. Jane pulled up a seat and pulled open a coloring book next to her. Lisbon smiled at him and then opened the pack of crayons and allowed them to spill out onto the table so that she could see all the colors she had.

She opened the book and turned to the first page. She smoothed down the page near the spine so that it would lay flat. Using a green crayon she started to color in the first dinosaur. After a few moments of silence, she turned to Jane. "Thank you."

. . .

TBC…


	10. Precious Moments Like These

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 10 – "Precious Moments Like These"**

**Author's Note: **Since I plan on revealing Red John in this fic, I plan on having this finished (fingers crossed!) by Thursday afternoon so that it's up because the episode hits! There's something cool when you figure out the villain before they reveal it! Especially if you're right!

...

_"__Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart." – Martin Luther King, Jr._

**CBI's Attic aka Jane's Hiding Spot**

Jane and Lisbon had colored some pages and had laughed. He was pretty sure that the laughing was his favorite part. He loved the way she laughed. She was relaxing, he was sure of it, which was good. He knew that she had been so tense and unhappy and worried. At this point, Jane had even given up the worry. What could they do? Live in fear? That wasn't living…

"I forgot something," Jane said with a frown.

"What did you forget?" Lisbon asked from where she sat.

"I'll only be a minute or two! If Hightower finds me though, I may never return… So, if I'm not back in fifteen minutes I'm going to need you to come and bail me out," Jane told her quite seriously. He could see Hightower locking them down in interrogation rooms. It wasn't kind, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't do it.

"Hopefully I won't lose track of time," she teased.

Jane frowned at her teasingly before heading out of the secret space and down to CBI proper. He snuck around as stealthily as he could, which for him…was extremely stealthy. He slipped into their office area and smiled when he took in Cho, Van Pelt, and Rigsby all sitting there waiting for him to ask them to do something.

"You know Hightower's been looking for you," Cho stated flatly.

"I did hear that…" Jane said slowly.

"I saw you abduct Lisbon earlier."

"Abduct is such a harsh word, Cho," Jane said, putting his hand to his chest. "I merely borrowed her in order to distract her from the ugliness of the world."

Rigsby just shook his head and smiled. "Come on, Jane. We all know that you have feelings for her."

"I didn't deny that," Jane said.

"And that Lisbon has feelings for you," Cho added.

"I can't speak on Lisbon's behalf…that would just be rude…"

"Probably everyone in the building knows," Van Pelt said. "I'm surprised Hightower hasn't said anything. Maybe she's hoping you'll actually behave and keep the shenanigans to a minimum since you care about Lisbon."

"Which is absolutely silly. I mean, it's not shenanigans…I just observe and then draw conclusions from the facts presented to me. Calling it shenanigans only makes it sound like what I do is mess around."

"That _is_ what you do," Cho said.

Jane frowned. "My good work is obviously not appreciated much."

"Do we even dare ask what you're up to with Lisbon upstairs?" Rigsby asked.

"I already told you… Now! I need something that plays music and some chips… I had forgot chips when I had made my list earlier."

They all just stared at him.

Obviously this bunch needed some motivation. "Did I mention that I ordered pizza for you all? And Chinese for dinner? Because let's face it, we're being held hostage here…so I figured that you may want something that's better than what comes out of the vending machine."

"I think it's more protection than a hostage situation," Rigsby said.

"Really?" Jane tilted his head slightly. "Red John's already proved a couple of times that he can infiltrate the CBI. "Protecting is if they could actually do that."

"What kind of chips do you want?" Cho asked.

"Surprise me!"

Jane smiled brightly as the trio went off in different directions in order to complete his task. They were like his own minions, but minions that he loved dearly. It wasn't a crime to know how to make them work, right? He didn't think so. He figured that that was just being brilliant.

. . .

"I was just about to come looking for you," Lisbon said.

He could tell that she was lying, mainly because of the smile that was creeping onto her face. She'd moved from the chair and was now laying on one of the cots. It wasn't even quite lunchtime, but he didn't blame her for feeling the need to take a nap. After all, naps were refreshing. They were also completely necessary.

Jane moved and set up the boom box that he'd been lent up on the table. He just hoped that it either had some good music in the CD top or that it got some decent radio stations. He hadn't checked before just because he didn't want to appear picky in front of the others. After all, they were doing him a favor by acquiring it for him to borrow. He set the chips down as well as he fiddled with the boom box.

"More snacks?" Lisbon asked in amusement.

"Snacks are highly necessary," Jane stated.

"Right."

He frowned upon finding that the CD in the top area was Justin Bieber. Really? He was pretty sure the team had borrowed it from an adult not some pre-teen girl. That simply wouldn't do. Jane made a mental note to toss the CD later and replace it with something with more taste. He was pretty sure that some nineties boy band like N*Sync or Backstreet Boys may have been an improvement. So, obviously the CD option was gone. He started to search for a good radio signal and finally found one on a classical station. You couldn't go wrong with classical, right?

The music flooded the room as he turned it up. It wasn't loud and pounding, which he thought was a good choice. It felt more soothing than anything.

"I think this was planned," Lisbon said.

Jane smiled as he approached the cots. He had to admit that he had been hoping to somehow find an actually proper bed in CBI, but alas, no beds were to be found. The cots would just have to do for the time being. "Planned for your relaxation enjoyment."

"Other people may call it seduction."

Jane sat down and then reclined back onto the empty cot before turning his head to look at her. He had already noticed that she'd removed her boots and her jacket. She did look more comfortable. That was the whole goal. "With coloring books and potato chips?" he asked with amusement. Maybe he was seducing her, did it really matter? He loved her, she loved him, was there really a huge need to seduce her at this point?

"I'm not hungry yet," she told him.

"Neither am I."

He just smiled at her as they both lie there. He liked this. Simple moments. He had taken advantage of them with his wife and daughter before… Yes, there were memories, but he never took the time then to live in those moments. Moments were precious…sometimes they felt like you could live in them. If he could go back, he knew that he would change things…but at the same time he didn't want to have to give up all his time at the CBI. Not because of Red John, but because of Teresa Lisbon…

It was a funny thing, love. You could vow to never love again all you wanted, but the universe had a funny way of pulling people together. He had tried to argue with the universe, but he was practically attached to Lisbon with an invisible tether. Whenever he pulled away, she'd close that distance between them. So, really…there was no reason for him to keep pushing away…she'd only push closer to him.

"I'm ready for a nap," he said quietly.

"You're always ready for a nap."

"And?"

Lisbon giggled.

"I'm telling you, it'll catch on. Pretty soon I'm going to go into your office and find you napping on that completely fantastically comfort couch."

"Mmhmmm… I think I might get fired if I did that."

"Well then obviously I'm going to have to break it in more by doing the majority of my napping in there."

"Well…obviously…" Lisbon said laughing a bit and shaking her head.

It was quiet for a long moment that passed between them. They both just lay there on their respective cot and stared at each other.

"I miss this," she whispered.

"What?"

"The quiet. It's peaceful…"

It wasn't exactly quiet, the classical music was still playing but he knew what she meant. It was nice. It was peaceful…and it was perfect.

. . .

TBC…


	11. Fear

**Title:** The Red Face of Fear

**Author:** Shannon – shannyfish

**Disclaimer:** I do not own "The Mentalist" or its characters, Warner Brothers and Bruno Heller do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating:** PG13

**Summary:** Sequel to "Red Window". With Lisbon back on the team, they continue to handle cases including those that pertain to Red John. Things are far more personal, emotional, and closer to home than they have ever been.

**Warning:** none yet

**Chapter 11 – "Fear"**

**Author's Note: **Last chapter! And posted before the finale! YAY!

...

"_The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." – Martin Luther King, Jr._

**CBI's Attic aka Jane's Hiding Spot**

The knife to her throat hadn't been a welcoming wake up call. Actually it had set fear and panic into full swing in her body. It was unreal. How could she have missed the sound of the heavy door being opened? How could she have missed the sound of footfall? Lisbon could hear her heart beating in her ears and could hear her breathing coming at an uneven rate as she was guided away from the cots where she and Jane had been so peacefully sleeping before.

"Hold out your hand," he ordered.

Lisbon didn't for a moment and then finally held it out in front of her. She didn't know what he was going to do. The fear of what he could do was enough to try to keep her from thinking too much about it though.

"Palm up."

So, she turned her hand. She held back the cry that wanted to escape as he cut the inside of the palm of her hand. She didn't want to risk angering him. He guided her towards the huge window that hung in the attic of the CBI. He pushed her close to it and he shifted the knife to the other hand, but pulled it tight against her neck. His hand dipped into the cut and soon he was drawing a very familiar face. A red crying smiley face in her blood.

Red John. Or at least she had to assume that's who it was. He wore a mask, one of those clear ones that had details painted on it, but she hadn't been able to make any kind of identification. The knife pressed against the delicate skin at her throat and she struggled to keep herself from completely breaking down. She didn't want to do this. Why couldn't he have killed her while she slept? There was something easier and less heart breaking about doing it that way.

Once the face was drawn to his liking, he moved her back to the cots. She wanted to scream and cry. She wanted to be able to defend herself properly. She wanted to be more than this puppet that Red John used on occasion against Jane.

"Wake him," came the hushed order from behind her.

"Ja-" she started and then was cut off by her own quiet sob.

"Wake him," she was ordered again and shook a bit this time.

"Jane…" she said and stared at him.

He had been so peaceful and now this…

Jane didn't stir. She almost smiled. That was very typical Jane. He did enjoy his naps, possibly a bit too much.

"Jane," she said louder this time.

He stirred this time, a boyish grin on his face as he opened his eyes. Lisbon watched as the smile faded fast. Fear and worry clouded his eyes and maybe guilt? Jane did always blame himself for everything that had happened. He never had accepted the fact that she was a cop and she'd agreed to the dangers that were involved with it. And there were dangers… Jane couldn't blame himself for this.

"Mr. Jane," the man behind her said.

"Red John," Jane breathed.

"I'm so glad that you recognized me…"

Lisbon just stood there, playing hostage, silent and listening. She just hoped that maybe Jane and his talking would buy them enough time that eventually someone would notice that they hadn't returned and send someone looking for them. Yes, help wasn't far. That's what she had to cling to…much better than the grim option of just being Red John's latest victims.

"You took what was mine," Red John said.

He meant her, Lisbon realized. She didn't belong to him, but she remained silent. She closed her eyes pushing back thoughts of what might be going on. Thoughts of being locked up with Simon again and made to play wife. She knew this time, Simon wouldn't allow for anything to get in the way of them being his twisted version of a 'family'.

"She wasn't mine to give to you," Jane said.

Jane was on his feet now; his face gave her no hope. It made her stomach churn and she felt sick. They were going to die there. This was it, they'd fought the good fight and in this ending, the bad guys won.

"Oh, she's yours…everyone here at CBI knows that…" Red John told him.

"How do you know that?"

"You've worked all the cases and worked with me and you still haven't figured it out?" Red John taunted. "You act all superior and smart and here you are…with no answers. If you were truly observant, Mr. Jane, then you would know the answer to this question…"

There was a pause before Jane finally spoke up. "I never figured it out."

"And that's haunted you, hasn't it?"

She wanted to say something. To tell Jane to stop listening to him, but at the same time she didn't want to make things worse. This was buying them time. This was keeping them safe. For the time being anyways. She swallowed hard and kept the tears back.

"You know it has," Jane said, his voice betraying his upset and anger.

"I had wanted to make her pretty for you, Mr. Jane…to paint her toes and nails, but I'm afraid there just isn't the time or privacy to do so this time."

She felt the pressure being put against her shifting. Lisbon thought about trying to break free, but were there other people that were linked to Red John in the building? She couldn't guarantee that she could take him down without either one of them getting hurt.

The sound of the plastic being removed seemed loud in her ears, but it seemed that its clattering to the floor was louder.

Lisbon couldn't see, but she could see Jane's face. He was shocked, truly shocked. Even more unlike Jane, he was speechless to the reveal. It didn't help her, though, in determining who was behind her.

"You've called me a ghoul before, Mr. Jane," Red John said.

"I did…" Jane mumbled. "You acted like you didn't know your own signature."

"I couldn't be that obvious," Red John told him. "Though I'm surprised that my own ability to keep my enthusiasm with these cases wasn't a giveaway to you."

"Brett Partridge," Jane said.

Lisbon was pretty sure that was for her own benefit. She had to think for a moment. It finally hit her. One of the forensics techs, the one that Jane really, really didn't like. She remembered that she was seriously worried whenever they were together that they might end up in some kind of physical fight. She would have never guessed it. Out of all the people they worked with…she wouldn't have even given him a thought.

"You're quite the deceiver," Jane said. "You deceived all of us here at CBI…but you seem fragile, but I know better than that."

That didn't help Lisbon. She had hoped that maybe she could overpower him. Though she was small compared to a lot of others who worked on CBI, she could still take down a lot of them. In this case with Jane's words, she wasn't sure.

"Isn't that the plan?" Red John asked.

"True," Jane said quietly. "And what now? You're going to take Lisbon back? You're going to give her to Simon?"

"I honestly hadn't decided yet. Simon does deserve his family back, the family I gave him. Though, obviously Lisbon here doesn't have feelings for him… I could just kill her…right here, right now."

"No," Jane said quickly.

"You know that that's the easy way out for me here, Mr. Jane. Taking a hostage would prove to be far more dangerous for all involved."

"That's true. And me? Are you going to kill me?"

"The liar… I still believe that you seeing those you loved killed is the best punishment, Mr. Jane. I'm sure that you watching you new love here die in front of you this time may actually teach you a lesson. You think you're so smart, but you've been trying to find me for how many years?"

He was definitely taunting Jane. Lisbon didn't like it. She didn't want Jane blaming himself. Not like this. Not here. "I can get you out of the building," Lisbon spoke up.

"Lisbon—" Jane started to argue.

"I can get you out of the building and I promise no one will know what's going on," she said, giving Jane a firm look. She wouldn't let this happen. She wouldn't allow it to. Maybe this time she had some power over how things played out and she was going to try to take advantage of that.

"Why would you do that?" Red John asked.

"I…I don't want Jane to suffer anymore," she admitted truthfully.

"Perhaps you're right," Red John said.

Lisbon breathed a sigh of relief for a moment.

"Perhaps I should just end your feeble insignificant life then, Mr. Jane," Red John said coolly.

"No!" Lisbon cried out and immediately started to fight against him. He was stronger than she thought and the second she felt the knife digging into her skin, she slowed her fighting.

"Not here," Jane said all too calmly.

"What?" Lisbon asked in shock. Was he giving himself up to Red John to be killed? She couldn't allow that. She wouldn't allow it to happen. She allowed the tears to fall from her eyes. She didn't believe it. Lisbon didn't want to believe it.

"Shhh Teresa…" Jane said. "It's okay."

"How can you say that?" she asked. How could he be okay with dying? She didn't want him to die.

"We can handcuff her here so she doesn't get in the way," Red John said.

Lisbon suddenly wished that she had her gun within her reach. She felt so helpless. Red John had a knack for doing that to her. She hated it. Absolutely hated it.

"How do I know you won't come back and kill her later?" Jane asked.

"She won't have any recourse… If she gives out my real identity they'll think she's crazy… I'll have an alibi for your death… And I'm sure she'll behave…or else she won't ever have the closure of having your remains found," Red John said.

"Lisbon," Jane started. "You have to promise me—"

"No," she said as she shook her head in disbelief. She couldn't hear this. Sobs interrupted her breathing and tears streamed her face. Jane was family…Jane was the man she'd fallen in love with. She didn't want to give that up. No…it wasn't fair. They'd been through so much.

"This is the end of the line, Lisbon," Jane told her.

"Jane—"

"I love you," Jane told her.

She'd heard those words from him before, but they'd never sounded so sweet. That didn't mean that she was accepting it. She couldn't. She wouldn't. "I love you," she barely got out.

"Promise me that you won't go after him… I don't want you to ruin your life…don't waste precious time…"

Lisbon just nodded. She didn't think she could really keep that promise, but she understood why he was asking her to do so. He had lived so long in anger and hate of the man who held her. He didn't want that for her. She had her own demons to deal with as it was, she honestly didn't need the added weight.

She was being yanked towards some of the old stuff stored up there. There were plenty of heavy things to handcuff her to. That didn't make any of this any easier. "Let me say goodbye at least," she said quietly.

"Once you're secured," Red John told her.

Lisbon didn't know what had come over her. She'd stared down at the face of death before, but this was different. This meant that her world was ending. The world that she'd happily and unhappily lived in for the past several years. The world in which she had a family which she loved and cared about. Everything was ending…so why did Jane care if she lived? This wasn't going to be living…it would be surviving.

Red John secured the handcuff to the heavy item first and then attached a cuff to her right hand. It was tight; there was no way for her to escape from it.

The grinding of the door opening and voices brought her attention to the door and gave her hope for a split second. Cho, Van Pelt, and Rigsby were all there. They froze though and she froze when she felt the knife pressing enough to her throat that it caused pain and started to bleed. She was also being pulled back, enough so that it pulled on her now cuffed wrist.

"CBI! Put it down!" They all yelled at different times as they all pulled their weapons.

Lisbon thought it was slightly amusing that Jane had his hands up like he was guilty of something. She knew that it was simply because he didn't want to get shot. Jane never liked guns, which was why it worked so well that she worked as his gun. He just had to figure out the puzzles.

"Tell them to leave," Red John said.

She closed her eyes and thought for a moment. This was going to really be it. For all of them. With the red face painted on the window behind her, she was sure that her team knew exactly who they were dealing with. Now her whole team knew who Red John was…there was no way he'd let them live. "Put down your weapons," she tried to get out as calmly as possible. She opened her eyes to see them lowering their weapons, but they weren't on the floor. They only wanted to protect her and Jane…she couldn't blame them.

"This doesn't have to change things," Jane told him.

This changed everything. Lisbon knew that.

"Let them go."

"Maybe I should just shoot them all right here. No loose ends," Red John said.

"No," Lisbon choked out. "They're going to back out of the room and then put their weapons on the ground."

"Boss-" Rigsby started to argue.

"Back up," she told them. After a moment, they all did.

They were all quiet for a while. The tension was thick. Lisbon had managed to at least calm herself down. It still disturbed her at how absolutely calm Jane seemed. Had he just decided that this was it? Had he decided that it was time for him to die? She knew that sometimes people decided something and even in such a tense and hard situation they were calm and collected. It scared her a bit.

Lisbon noticed what was going on, Rigsby and Van Pelt were staying there. Cho, though, had left in order to let people know what was going on. She wouldn't be surprised if they were evacuating the whole building. Red John had been in that building more times than anyone liked to admit. There was nothing extreme in that action.

They were all just quiet there. She assumed that Red John was thinking. Maybe he was waiting to see what Cho would do? Lisbon honestly didn't know. All she knew was that this wasn't going to end well…not for her or Jane or her team. People were going to die.

"I think you should know something," Cho said.

"What should I know, Agent Cho?" Red John spat.

He was getting angry. Lisbon knew that that happened when you boxed someone unstable in. He was definitely unstable. Lisbon honestly didn't think that they could calm him down…not without more blood and death.

"You should know that your guy, Simon, he was shot during his attempt to kidnap Kaydance Millary."

Oh God, Simon and Red John had plotted together to reform Simon's shattered perfect family dream. Tears rushed to her eyes. She'd lived through what most would say was a tough childhood; it had just been normal for her. That was something that she'd be willing to relive through, being Simon's 'wife' was not something she was willing to repeat.

"Simon was a friend," Red John spat. "His father used to be friends with my father. We used to spend time with them fishing during the summer…and then hunting when I got older."

She let out a small cry as the knife dug deeper into her neck.

"You have nowhere to go," Rigsby told him.

"I know," Red John told them.

She felt the knife move away from her skin, she closed her eyes and thought of Jane. She knew what was coming. His body shifted slightly as he moved the knife back. This was the moment. She was going to die. This time no one was going to be able to save her…and she didn't blame any of them. There was nothing they could do…that was the God's honest truth.

"No!" she heard yelled by multiple people.

The sound of glass followed by the sounds of gunfire were what hit her ears, she felt pain but not where she expected. She felt herself released and she fell to the floor. It came up and hit her. Several rounds of gunshot rang out and she opened her eyes. A heavy weight fell on her and all she could see was shoes. People were hurrying towards her. There were sounds, but the only sound she heard was Red John's voice.

"I am Red John," he managed to get out. "But Red John is many."

She blinked and tried to concentrate on watching the shoes, but darkness was tugging at her. She didn't want to go. She couldn't hear anything now. She knew there was sound, but it was like she couldn't process it. Lisbon felt the weight being pulled from her and then immediately she felt hands on her. There was pressure; someone was applying pressure to her back.

"You're going to be okay," she heard Jane say.

"The bullet didn't do much damage," someone else said.

More people were swarming the room now. She blinked and then she found Jane there. He was lying down beside her. He had taken her had and she watched as he kissed it. His eyes were filled with relief. The ugly weight of Red John and his actions of all these years were finally lifted from Jane and she felt relief as well. He would be okay, that was what mattered.

"You're going to be okay," Jane said again.

She didn't know if he was just saying that or if it was true, but she just nodded and watched him. He was okay… Her team was okay…

"The bullet needs to be removed and we need to get some blood into her, but she'll be fine," someone said. It was someone unfamiliar so she assumed that they were an EMT.

. . .

**Several Days Later…**

"See! Napping is catching on!" Jane insisted.

Lisbon rolled her eyes. "I was shot. I'm on pain medication. Napping is a side effect."

"But you're napping on the couch."

"Me napping at the desk really isn't going to help anything."

Jane grinned at her.

Things had been a little rocky, but things had turned out. She'd been shot, but the wound wasn't deep. The doctor had said she'd gone into shock and had lost enough blood where she'd needed a transfusion. The surgery had gone quickly and she was awake an hour later.

"I can maybe make room for you," she told him.

"You'll do it all wrong," Jane complained.

She scoffed. "How would I do it wrong?"

"Come here," he said as he offered his hands for her to get to her feet.

So, Lisbon humored him and got up off the couch and stood there. He sat down and then arranged one of the couch pillows so that it supported his head. He put his legs up on the couch and motioned for her to join him. Lisbon did, he pulled her into his arms and held her. Her head fell to his chest and she allowed herself to go to sleep. Relaxing and being able to sleep through the night had been on thing that no one had had to worry about with Red John gone.

Life could go on.

. . .

The End.


End file.
